Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
this is an emotional support booty call
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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