I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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