mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
