she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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