hotel room ftw
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
