can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
