why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize