you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
