Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have already put on my inside pants.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
