i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
