oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
