She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
