none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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