I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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