why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
