My hand turned me down
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
