If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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