you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
