Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
