Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
