these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
