is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
