I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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