OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
two words...techno handjob
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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