I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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