We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
