Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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