I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize