It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
