Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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