3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
