im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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