I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
