me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
