Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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