what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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