Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
