in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She's the barista slut.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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