She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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