I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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