But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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