ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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