Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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