how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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