i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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