Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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