guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
