Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
