i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
