Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
