If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance