Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.