Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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