i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
