i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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