i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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