Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
