I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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