I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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