honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
