If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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