I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize