why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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